Clash of the unlikely lovers
by Hyakimaru
Summary: In the midst of boredom, the most unlikely couple is born.
1. Clash of the unlikely lovers

**Disclaimer:** I don't own To aru Majutsu no Index/ Kagaku no Railgun... thank god, this pairing would be cannon if I did.

**Author´s note:** This is a little story I thought while trying to find the most unlikely pairing I could think for Accelerator; be warned that it contains lots of foul language a tons of 'not too explicit' sexual references.

* * *

**Clash of the unlikely lovers**

Accelerator woke up felling like crap, his head hurt like hell, he had no clothes on for some reason and he had a hangover from hell, he reluctantly opened his eyes and turned around to pick up his phone and check the time.

"What the hell! I thought today was…"

_´Ringtone´_

Yet he stopped his complaining when the display showed a call from an unknown number, he thought about just ignoring it since he didn't felt like answering but something inside of him told him he should take it.

"_Hello Accelerator kun."_

"Who the fuck are you?"

"_You know Accelerator kun, a few weeks ago Academy City was going to face one of the worst crisis in its history…"_

"I said: who the fuck are you?"

"_I thought about solving it using the traditional ruthless way, but then I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble and I'd rather just play it for laughs…"_

"I don't give a damn! For the last time: who the fuck are you?"

"_A very bored person… by the way you picked up your phone with your right hand did you?"_

"Huh? Of course!"

"_Then why don't you look at your left hand…?"_

The call was cut.

"What the hell was that all about?"

He just tossed his phone back into his bed table, to be honest he felt way too bad to think about anything else, but before he went back to sleep there was something he had to check.

"My left hand, just what the…"

His mouth opened in disbelief when he saw it.

"But… but… this cannot be… this is impossible!"

Then he slowly turned around to see the other side of his bed.

"Fuck!"

He stood up as fast as he could and picked up his phone again, hitting the redial option immediately, he barely waited for the call to connect so he could yell at the asshole that did this to him.

"You bastard! I don't know who you are but I'm going to kill you, I'm going to find you and then I'll spread your guts all over the floor while you beg me for mercy, then I'm going to castrate you and…"

"_Welcome to Domino´s pizza automatic ordering system, may I take your order please?"_

"Fuck!"

He was going to snap the phone in half on his rage, but a quick reminder of what he saw made him reconsider.

"_Today we have a 2 x 1 promotion on…"_

"Do you guys sell rum? I could use a bottle or ten."

"_Unknown product, please…"_

"Well… damn!"

He hanged up the phone and took a long breath before turning around again to see the reason of his anger, that being a woman sleeping on his bed… a **naked** woman sleeping on his bed to be precise, she was a short haired blond with a pretty slim figure, a tight butt and decent sized breasts, but there was something kind of unnerving about her… Still for someone that's generally uninterested on women Accelerator had to admit she was kind of hot.

"Hmmm."

The woman turned around and slowly opened her eyes; she first looked around the room until her eyes were fixated on Accelerator then opened as wide as they could when she noticed his nakedness, then they somehow got even wider when they lowered and noticed her own.

"Kyaaaqhfhfghsgkj!"

The woman tried to scream but was so desperate she choked.

"Aagghffghg."

"Hey! Are you ok?"

He got closer to the woman to help her but she just extended her hand to stop him.

_´Cough cough cough´_

She used her other hand to hit her chest until she swallowed in the weirdest way possible, it was more like she spat out something on her mouth.

_´Cough´ _"Who the hell are you? And what the fuck did you do to me?"

"That's my question bitch!"

"Those were **two** questions asshole!"

"The hell…"

However Accelerator stopped as he noticed a book that was on his bed, the woman noticed as well and they both moved closer to it.

"This cannot be!"

The book was a photo album loaded with pictures of a wedding…

"No… this is not true… this isn't happening…"

The woman was about to snap, but when she moved her hands to grab her head in despair she noticed something on her left hand, more specifically a wedding ring… she examined it carefully looking at its features, then she quickly pulled Accelerator's left hand and noticed he was wearing a ring that was exactly the same.

…

And that was the last thing Accelerator heard from her before she passed out; he let out a sigh and put a blanket over her before moving towards his closet to get dressed.

"The hell is this?"

He noticed all his clothes were tucked away in one half of the closet whereas the other half was full with some weird yellow garbs he had never seen before.

"_Tsk _Whatever!"

He took the first clothes that he saw and put them on, then left the room as fast and quietly as his cane allowed him, calmly closing the door behind him.

"Ok, now that's taken care of… YOMIKAWAAAAAA!"

He walked as fast as he could towards the kitchen and there he found none other than his legal guardian.

"Oh if it isn't the newlywed, how is it going jan? Finally had enough?"

"The hell are you talking about? Just who the hell is that woman on my bed and why the fuck does my cell phone says it's October 28?"

"Hey watch your language would you…? Last Order is going to pick it up if you…"

"Just answer me damn it!"

"What do you want me to answer you? It says is October 28 because today is October 28 and the woman on your bed must be your wife jan."

"The hell…"

He let himself fall on a nearby chair and grabbed his head.

"How can that be? Last thing I remember is going to pick up Last Order back and then…"

He remembered how the brat had gotten hurt from a fall and he went to get some band aids and stuff, then he healed her wounds and she gave him a coke can she got from him… and everything was fuzzy after that.

"So are you regretting it already? That's no good! I have a bet with Kikyo about how long your marriage will last and I need you to keep it up for two months at least."

"So I'm really married to that bitch?"

"Of course, you started dating at the beginning on the month and married her two days ago, I tried telling you were rushing things but you told me you were sure she was the right one… I should've known you just did it because she told you she wouldn't go all the way until she was married jan."

Accelerator breathing started to become faster until it was as heavy as it could.

"But I didn't expect you to get tired of her so soon, I mean you spent 2 days on that room with her and you're like this, you really are the worst! By the way I didn't interrupt you since it was your wedding… weekend I guess but you need to tell her to keep it quieter from now on… It was a pain to explain Last Order that Windy chan really wasn't coming anywhere and that there wasn't a cat burning to death in the room."

"Windy…? I married someone with a stupid name like that?"

"Ara… you don't even remember the name of your wife jan? "

Yomikawa sighed and shook her head

"Seriously and to think you even look kind of disturbingly cute together… Listen Accelerator, Windy is not her name; we just call her like that because she just like you, only lives by an alias and it means wind in our language."

Then she looked at Accelerator confused face before sighing again.

"But if you really need a reminder, the 'name' of your wife is Vento of the Front."

**Back in Accelerator's room:**

The proud member of God's right seat woke up for the second time today, her head hurt like hell and she felt an strange tingling coming from between her…

"Oh God…"

She desperately searched around her to find the book that made her faint a few minutes ago and hastily looked at the pages…

"I can't believe it, I did marry with a…wait a minute is he a Roman Catholic at least?"

But her worries were eased as on the book were also pictures of his baptism so she just breathed a sigh of relief...

"Why am I feeling so relieved for? "

She threw the book at the wall with all of her strength, ready to throw a temper tantrum, but managed to calm herself and try to figure out the situation.

"What the hell is going on?"

She tried to remember but it was no use, the last memories she had were about sneaking into Academy City, beating a few Anti-Skill and talking to that bastard Aleister over a walkie-talkie, then she bought a coke can from a machine because she was thirsty… and everything was fuzzy after that.

"This is a fucking disaster! That asshole drugged me and made me marry him and… and…"

Then it hit her, she was naked and the last time she saw him he was naked too… that could only mean one thing.

"No, there's no way I'd…"

And taking advantage of the fact that she wasn't wearing any clothes, she just checked.

…

"Lies… it's a lie, **it's a lie!** **IT'S A LIE!**"

She stood up ready to just storm out and kill the bastard so she took off her blanket and…

'_Sneeze.'_

That little pause remind her that she was still naked so she just moved to the closet, put on her clothes as fast as she could and then to the mirror to check her appearance before going out.

"What the hell happened to my piercings?"

And once she looked at her face she noticed every single one of her piercings were gone and so were the holes she used to put them on, most likely healed by magic, the only one she still got was the cross of Divine Punishment attached to her tongue that nearly choked her to death a few minutes ago.

"_Tsk _Great! Now I'm going to have to wear extra make-up until I put them back on!"

She moved to the drawer to pick up her make-up kit and that's when it hit her…

"How come I know where everything is…?"

Really despite the fact that she was sure this was the first time she saw this room she knew exactly where to find her clothes, her underwear, the mirror and her make-up kit; it wasn't like they were hard to find but the thing is that she didn't even need to look for them, she already knew where they were as if she lived here for a long time.

"Meh… Whatever! I'll worry about that after I kill him."

But she just ignored that and went to get her wind hammer on the closet (It was on the bottom compartment to the right, she knew that as well) and rushed to the door so she could wreck this place, however as soon as she opened it she found a little girl crying at the other side.

"What's wrong Last Order?"

Yet before she questioned herself about why did she know the girl's name, the kid ran closer to her and hugged her as tight as she could.

"Windy chan _sniff _is your cat alright? Ask Misaka as Misaka is worried about the answer."

"What are you talking about? I don't have a cat... Windy chan? What kind of name is…"

But before she could finish wondering about her new nickname the girl hugged her even tighter.

"_Sob _But yesterday you kept desperately screaming that your pussy was… your pussy was… I can't even say it! says Misaka as Misaka remembers part of her horrible trauma."

Then for the first time on her entire life Vento blushed… and it wasn't your regular Tsundere blush either, she was so red that the make-up she put around her eyes was actually paler than the rest of her (Extremely angry) face.

"That's… I mean… You'll understand when you're older!"

She tried to move past her but the girl clung to her legs and prevented her moving.

"So your pussy is alright? Ask Misaka as Misaka wipes her tears."

Vento's breathing started to become heavy and veins began to pop on her forehead, let's just say that whatever happened to her 'kitten' wasn't something she wanted to talk about.

"Yes… its fine… now could you please let me go… "

However the girl just hugged her tighter.

"Thank God! Misaka was so scared… I even thought you were trapped in the room since the door was locked and you kept screaming you were coming but never did, says Misaka as Misaka remembers the other part of her trauma."

Then she blushed even redder than before, this coupled with the hyperventilation that was starting to appear almost made her faint again, but her anger prevented her from doing so.

"Yeah… Don't worry about that… Everything is going to be fine… Now could you please let go of me…?"

She made her best attempt to form a smile on her face to ease the kid, this seemed to work as the girl just smiled back at her, let her go and ran elsewhere; as she watched her go, Vento had to stop to make a little reflection.

"Funny, usually I would've killed that kid outright… but I seem to be unable to keep my anger going on for some inexplicable reason."

Seriously, the usual her would've trashed out the entire city already, yet she took her time getting dressed, fixing her make-up and even helping a little girl she hadn't seen before (yet for some inexplicable reason knew her name) getting past her trauma even though she kept reminding her about what happened to her chastity.

"What do you mean 'inexplicable reason'? If that weekend you spent in there was anywhere near as good as it sounded anyone would be in a good mood, heck I'm surprised you can stand up so fast."

Then a woman with short hair appeared behind her.

"What are you talking about Yoshikawa…? Great another name I shouldn't know…"

However the woman ignored her last remark and chuckled.

"You don't remember…?" She blushed a little "Well I guess it's only normal you weren't paying attention to what you were saying… "

Then she pulled out an iPod like device from her pocket.

"Luckily for you I taped it just in case I need it for future blackmailing purposes."

She offered the headphones to Vento who reluctantly took them and put them on.

"What the hell is this…?"

"A compilation of the best moments from the past weekend."

As she heard the recording her eyes opened as wide as they could, her blush was of a perfect red color and she began to hyperventilate like hell; it was horrible: the things **she** said… the things **he** said… the moans… the other sounds in the background… and… and…

"**I… AM… GOING… TO… KILL… HIM!"**

She snapped the headphones out of her ears and took the iPod from Yoshikawa, threw it at the floor and stomp it with her foot.

"Ara, I just bought that one you know… oh well I doesn't matter I got a few extra copies just in case this happened…"

**"WHERE IS HE?"**

From the kitchen another woman with long hair tied in a ponytail appeared.

"If you're looking for your husband he's at the ceiling."

"Thanks Yomikawa!"

She didn't even stop to worry about why did she knew her name and just darted out of the apartment into the ceiling of the building, only to find her 'husband' sitting near the edge and looking at the horizon.

"There you are you bastard!"

He turned around to see her.

"What the hell do you want bitch!"

"What do you mean with that? Is that how you greet the person you drugged and…"

"Who the hell would want to…?"

"Don't play stupid you bastard! You took away my… my… argh! I feel sick just thinking about it!"

"Don't make me laugh!"

He got closer to her until they were face to face.

"Just so you know I was the one who was drugged, there's no way I'd ever do a freak like you otherwise."

That last remark got Vento… In usual circumstances she'd never worry about someone mocking her appearance, actually people felling repulsion towards her was pretty much the whole idea behind it… but if it was the person who took her precious chastity away then it was a different.

"Ha! Don't lie! I just listened to a recording of it and you were moaning like a pussy!"

"What about you? I heard you took it like a cheap whore!"

The two of them just stared at each other ready to attack; Accelerator got his hand on his chocker while Vento let out the chain of Divine Punishment and prepared her wind hammer.

…

But… they didn't move after that.

"What wrong… are you scared scumbag?"

Accelerator was confused, it'd a piece of cake for him to just turn on his chocker and become a widower in just a second… but he couldn't… for some reason he was unable to explain he didn't want to hurt the woman in front of him… actually it was the opposite, ever since he saw her this morning he wanted to protect her… the way he tried to help her when she was choking, how he put a blanket over her so she wouldn't be cold, how he got out of the room quietly so she could sleep; simple displays of kindness that Accelerator barely showed toward others, but came out naturally when it was about her.

"Who'd be scared of a weakling like you?"

And Vento was confused too, she had been drugged and forced to marry someone against her will, not to mention her precious chastity that was a proof of her dedication to the Lord was now gone, taken away from her without her permission… but still she couldn't kill the man in front of her, it was weird, ever since she woke up she felt strange: knowing people she shouldn't know, navigating a house she had never been before, it was like she had forgotten something really important… a warm wonderful feeling she hadn't felt in a long time… and while she was unsure about a lot of stuff she did know one thing… the person in front of her bore no ill will towards her, he would have gotten Divine Punishment if he did.

"A weakling? Ha! Don't make me laugh! Do you really have no idea of who I am bitch? I am the strongest of this city… No I'm the strongest on the whole world! A coward that'd rather blame the thing that saved her life than to move on and accept her brother's death is nothing against me."

"_Tsk! _I refuse to take that from a pathetic emo that keeps chasing after the image of a hero he built far beyond his reach! What's the point of modeling yourself after what you can never be? Just atone for your sins in your own way asshole!"

And that's when it hit them.

"How the fuck do you know that?" / "How the fuck do you know that?"

"How the fuck do I know that?" / "How the fuck do I know that?"

"Just who the fuck are you?" / "Just who the fuck are you?"

They stared at each other a little longer.

…

Before sighing and putting down their weapons.

"This is such a waste of my fucking time!" / "This is such a waste of my fucking time!"

They remained in silence for a little while before Accelerator turned around and walked back to where he was sitting before she got there.

"You… Vento was it? How about if we just divorce and pretend this never happened?"

That remark however far from calming her only made her angrier.

"Is not that easy asshole, I don't give a crap about the laws of this stupid city, the only one I care about is the law of God and he doesn't allow…"

But then she got an idea.

"What's wrong?"

"Lend me a phone!"

"Huh?"

"I said lend me a fucking phone! I'm going to fix this whole thing right now."

"And how are you planning to do that?"

She chuckled.

"You really don't know anything do you? Christian laws don't allow divorce, but they allow to annul a marriage if it's determined that certain conditions weren't met during the ceremony, like having no free will because you were being drugged into it for an example; so I'll just get the pope to declare an annulment and then I won't have to see your stupid face ever again."

She also thought to herself.

'_I won't get my virginity back but I guess I can't keep crying over spilled milk.'_

For some reason her choice of words in that last sentence made her feel dirty.

"You're going to call the freaking pope? The hell do you think you are bitch?"

She just laughed at him.

"You really don't know anything do you? The woman you married is a member of God's right seat; I got the pope eating on the palm of my hand."

Accelerator just rolled his eyes and threw his cell phone at her.

"_Tsk! _Whatever makes you happy bitch!"

She ignored his remark, quickly made a long distance call to the Vatican and calmly waited for the call to connect.

_Believe it or not The Pope's isn't at home._

_Please leave a message at the beep._

_I must be out or I'd pick up the phone._

_Where could I be?_

_Believe it or not I'm not home._

_Beep!_

"_Tsk! _Stupid idiot and his obsession with American sitcoms!"

She hanged up the phone and threw it back at Accelerator.

"Whatever! He must be giving a speech or something I'll get him later."

He just grunted, put the phone back into his pocket and began to walk away.

"The hell are you going?"

"None of your goddamn business."

"But…"

Accelerator turned around and gently pushed her towards a nearby wall until they were face to face.

"Listen bitch, I don't like this whole situation any more than you do, so just fucking leave me alone will ya!"

He noticed the compromising position they were in, they were so close he could feel her breathing and also how she looked a little flustered and a little shaken, so he began to back out, but as he was moving he saw how Vento threw the chain on her tongue around his neck then grabbed the moving tip with her mouth, bit it and pulled him in for a kiss.

…

Accelerator was surprised, her kiss tasted weird, like a mixture of saliva and metal that was somehow disgusting but exotic and nostalgic at the same time, this coupled with the way her tongue was skillfully exploring his mouth, hitting all the right spots convinced him to just let her do as she wanted.

…

It was nearly a minute later when she had enough and let go of the chain that joined them together.

"The hell…"

Accelerator could barely speak, he was panting heavily and so was her; their eyes were locked on each other's not wanting to let go of that sight.

"The hell did you do that for?"

She opened her mouth and her voice was wavering and stuttering, trying her best to form a coherent sentence.

"Hell… hell if I know… I just wanted to!"

Quite frankly, she didn't have a reason for kissing him; it just felt like the right thing to do.

"What the fuck do you mean you just wanted to?"

He pushed her back into the wall, placing his right hand besides her head and his left on his chocker.

"You think you can go around kissing people just because you felt like it bitch…?"

"Ye… Yeah… of course I can… you're my fucking husband remember!"

"In that case, you're my fucking wife too you know!"

"_Tsk! _You don't have the guts."

"Try me!"

"Go ahead then… My chastity is gone and we're fucking married anyway so why the fuck not!"

He just made a weird grin and pushed the button on his chocker, unsurprisingly he noticed there was a filter in place to prevent her from being reflected automatically.

"Don't mind if I do, but I don't want to hear you whining about it later…"

He got his face closer to hers and grinned.

"You're mine!"

**Around 15 minutes later:**

"You know maybe we should give this whole marriage thing a try."

Vento was calmly fixing her clothes, trying to sound as dignified as she could while she made that proposal, looking away so he would not see the huge smile she had on her face.

"_Chuckle_ Fucking whore!"

"Shut up! You enjoyed that as much as I did!"

A huge grin appeared on Accelerator face; quite frankly she was right… not like he was going to admit it though.

"Doesn't make you any less of a whore."

"You have a whore for a wife then."

"So you admit it?"

She got closer and pushed him against a wall just like he did her a few minutes ago.

"Listen asshole, if I am a whore then I am **your** whore, so you better take fucking responsibility for it."

Then she carefully moved her hand through Accelerator's neck, caressing the skin around his chocker but without activating the device.

"Just 15 minutes? And how long does it takes to recharge? Seriously… _sigh _You really are fucking useless."

"Shut…"

But he couldn't finish his comeback since Vento shut his mouth with hers.

"Oh well… Then I guess it's my turn to take these matters into my own hands…"

She opened her mouth to lick her lips and slowly let the chain of Divine Punishment fall.

"You're mine!"

**Another 15 minutes later:**

"Yeah… maybe you're right and we should give this marriage thing a try."

Accelerator was calmly fixing his clothes, trying to sound as dignified as he could while he made that proposal, looking away so she would not see the huge smile he had on his face.

"_Chuckle _You sure you want to be married to a whore?"

Accelerator was ready to pounce at her, but something inside of him stopped him again.

"Ok you win, I take that back, you're not a whore… bitch."

"_Chuckle _That apology sucked... but I'll take it... but you know like I said before I might be a bitch, but I'm **your** bitch and guess what? You're **my** bitch too, so get fucking used to it already!"

"_Tsk! _We'll see about that!"

They nodded at each other and then quietly walked back to the apartment, once they arrived Yomikawa and Yoshikawa were waiting for them.

"So I'm guessing you guys made up already."

"You could say so." / "Yeah… why not?"

"Thank god, you know you guys need to start being quieter, we could hear everything from here, if you keep it up we'll start hearing from the neighbors soon."

They blushed and could only mutter a little _"Shut up!"_ before trying to escape.

"By the way we just got back the documents… You wouldn't believe the face of the mailman when he brought them and heard the musical background."

They were going to protest but before they could Yomikawa handed them a big envelope.

"There you go."

They opened the thing and took a quick look at the papers on it.

"The hell is this?"

"Those are the adoptions papers you signed the other day… congratulations, you're now the official parents of Last Order."

They let the papers fall on the floor as Last Order appeared from behind Yomikawa and jumped so she could hug them both at the same time.

"Mommy! Daddy! Misaka is so happy! says Misaka as Misaka acknowledges her parents. "

**Meanwhile on the windowless building:**

Aleister Crowley was quietly floating on his glass tube, looking through one of the many screens on it at the newest chapter of the twisted reality show that he liked to call Academy City.

"So let me see if I get this straight… you married those two against their will just for shit and giggles."

"Yeah… pretty much."

"Are you sure about this? This move could easily backfire and hand over the most valuable esper to the Roman Catholics."

He just gave a brief chuckle before looking at the screen again.

"You worry over nothing, those two are going to be way too busy snarking at each other until the tension breaks in and they have sex to do anything else… let alone conspire against me."

The strange being in front of him looked at him with disgust.

"And you won't even let them have privacy… you really are a voyeur aren't you?"

"What can I say? It does get boring you know… floating upside down on a test tube all day, all I can do is checking whether or not everything is going as planned and it always is, so this is my only form of entertainment."

He looked at the screen and noticed they'd begun snarking at each other again.

"And it's wonderful!"


	2. Getting past the traumas

**Getting past the traumas**

Vento opened her eyes as wide as they could to gaze at the horrible death machine that stood in front of her; so terrible even the fearsome member of God's right seat could do nothing but shiver in fear and try her best not to pee herself; suddenly she felt a hand gently posing on her shoulder so she slowly turned around only to find that bastard she now called her husband.

"Let's go…"

She was so terrified she couldn't even protest as he gently pushed her towards her living nightmare.

**Earlier that day:**

Accelerator slowly turned around on his sleep, waking up when he felt his hand grabbing a medium sized object that was really soft and squishy.

"The hell are you touching you pervert?"

He didn't even open his eyes and answered her like it was a reflex.

"That pathetic thing that you like to call a left breast."

"Pathetic? The only thing that is pathetic here is the size of your… Wait a minute! How the fuck do you know you're grabbing the left one?"

He didn't answer her but rather just squeezed the thing on his hand which caused his wife to give him a sound that was between a moan and a scream; then he turned around without letting go of the treasure in his hand until he was facing Vento; her face showing something that was half anger and half arousal.

"How? What a stupid question bitch! It's only obvious that I know how to tell my stuff apart."

"Perfect! Now if only you knew how to handle it proper…"

But before she could finish snarking at him he just squeezed it again, getting exactly the same reaction as before, only this time a little stronger.

"What? You mean this is not enough for you…"

He let go and then moved until he was completely on top of her, gazing at the naked body she refused to dress when she slept.

"Then I guess I'll have to take special care of you…"

He got one of his hands on his chocker and pressed the button with an evil and lustful grin on his face.

"You won't even last 5 minutes… no, make that 3…"

**About 3 minutes later:**

Accelerator was getting dressed so he could go to take a bath and get the fluids his wife had gotten all over him cleaned up (Quite frankly he enjoyed her scent, but it was not something he'd want wear around as a cologne, not to mention the thought of somebody else smelling her bothered him a lot) as he felt a couple of arms sneaking around his body.

"Where do you think you're going you little piece of shit?"

"You awake bitch? I thought I made you pass out back there."

"Only for a second… I think I had one of those 'Petite morts' or something, I don't know I'm no good at French. "

Then she clung to him, pressing everything she got against his back.

"But I'm up and running again and guess what? 3 minutes is nowhere near enough!"

"'_Tsk!_' If you want it so badly then why don't you begin by sucking my big, giant co…"

"Big? Giant? _'Chuckle!' _You know, I'll admit I'm not the most knowledgeable person in the world about those things, you being my only one and stuff and that yeah! I'm _extremely_ satisfied with it… But… Come on! At the very best you could say it's slightly above ave…"

"Ha! Yeah complain now if you want; we both know that wasn't what you were saying a few seconds ago."

"Never mind that, it's just that you're so sad I just felt like stroking your ego."

"And that wasn't the only thing you were stroking bitch."

As she heard that, she stopped pushing herself on him and just pulled his husband back to the bed, where she got on top of him, a huge grin eerily similar to the one he had a few minutes ago appearing on her face.

"And what's wrong with that asshole? Listen I'm tired of this stupid game, so if you want me to stroke that something of yours ever again you could start by telling him to stand up."

Yet Accelerator remained completely unfazed.

"The hell are you complaining about you fucking nympho? I already told you how to wake him up, so why don't you use that mouth of yours to do something useful for once!"

But contrary to his expectations, Vento's grin just got even wider.

"If that's what it takes, then I'll just help myself…"

Then in an unexpected twist instead of just lowering herself she turned her body 180° so that her bottom would be right on his face.

"But don't think for a second I'm doing this without you returning the favor!"

**About 20 minutes and a quick bath later:**

"So you know kids, why don't you take the day off today? I'm going to make a little remodeling around the house and I need you guys to be out jan."

Currently the strongest esper in the world and a member of God's right seat were having breakfast, just yesterday their lives had taken a sharp turn after waking up to an entirely new situation, as they were now married with children; a situation they had taken a remarkably little time to get used to, it was like they were living together for a long time.

"What's with you doing remodeling out all the sudden?"

Yomikawa just sighed.

"It's not my fault, recently a couple of rabbits took nest in the house and they're so noisy during their baby-making sessions (Which happen every freaking 20 minutes by the way) that now I need to soundproof the entire room they're living so I can sleep in peace again… and maybe the bath too."

The couple just got a little embarrassed and kept eating their breakfast in silence.

"Don't worry about that, Mommy and Daddy promised me that they'd take me to the _amusement park_ the day after the adoption was approved, says Misaka as Misaka remembers a promise they made."

Accelerator grunted at her daughter.

"I don't remember…"

Yet he stopped as he noticed her eyes getting watery.

"But… You promised me just before the wedding, says Misaka as Misaka is about to cry!"

"Ok, ok… I'll take you, just don't cry; just let me get your 'mother' out of her hiding place and we'll go."

Everyone but Accelerator was surprised as they turned around and noticed that the newest member of their family was nowhere to be seen.

"Give me a second."

He ate the rest of his breakfast in a hurry and then went back to his room, where just like usual everyone could hear everything they said and in what was now an instant reflex, Yomikawa covered Last Order's ears so she couldn't listen.

'_Knock! Knock!'_

"What do you want?"

"Vento, could you get out of the closet?"

"No!"

"I said: get out of the fucking closet!"

"Eat me!"

"Again…? For crying out loud woman give me a break… Well ok, but I need you to get out of the closet first."

"The hell I'm falling for that, you get in the fucking closet and do it."

"I'm not going in the closet is too cramped and dirty in there! You come out!"

"But I like it here, it's warm, cozy and… and…"

…

"…I'm not going to a fucking death park!"

"Everything is going to be fine!"

"That's the same thing they said last time!"

"But last time was different, this is Academy City bitch!"

"I don't care!"

"The hell! Even if something happens that weird habit of yours should protect you, you're like freaking tank when you're wearing that thing… I should know it's a fucking pain to get you out of it."

"I know that! But…"

"But…?"

"Nothing…!"

"The hell is nothing! Speak up bitch!"

"I… I… I just don't want someone important to me dying again, ok?"

…

"'_Swallow followed by a small chuckle!' _Ha! You're worried about me…?"

"Who'd be worried about you idiot… I was just worried about… Last Order… yeah Last Order; as if anyone would be worried about you… because I'm not… Of course I'm not!"

After this both Yomikawa and Yoshikawa chuckled at the most obvious and pathetic Tsundere performance they had ever hear.

"_Tsk!' _As I'd let anything happen to the brat! Now come on, get out of the goddamn closet!"

_Closet door opening._

"Don't use God's name in vain you…"

'_Arm being grabbed.'_

"Got you now bitch!"

"Hey that's cheating! Let me go! I'm going back in the closet!"

"The hell you are! You're coming with me to face your childhood traumas once and for all."

"Make me!"

"You know we promised Last Order we'd take her… You wouldn't break a promise you made to your daughter would you? I'm sure The Lord wouldn't like that."

"No, but I… That's… _'Sigh!' _Ok, you win…"

"Great bitch, now let's… Why are you taking off your skirt?"

"'_Pout!' _You said you'd eat me if I got out of the closet!"

"But you… oh well I suppose there's no harm on it, but only if you return the favor… "

"If I must… Then sure! Let's get on with it!"

**"Get your asses out of my apartment already!"**

**Academy City's amusement park entrance:**

The new formed family got out of the bus and was now standing in front of the amusement park on district 6 of Academy City… or the "Super scary death camp for the heathen monkeys" as Vento liked to call it.

"You know I changed my mind, I'm going back on the closet."

Yet as she was leaving, someone grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Of course not, we're going in right now."

She tried her best to wrestle out of his grasp, damn ready to knock him out if she had too.

"Let me go in this instant or I'll…"

"Are you fighting? Ask Misaka as Misaka is worried."

Both of them stopped dead on their tracks as they heard their 'daughter' calling them, they quickly turned around to find her looking at them, near crying on the side of the street.

"You mustn't fight! If you two fight then Misaka will… _sniff _as Misaka_ sniff_"

The girl started to slowly weep as their parents, filled with the guilt of their actions quickly ran towards her.

"What are you talking about? We're not fighting…"

"Yeah, we're not… what gave you that idea?"

The girl's sobs became slower until they almost disappeared.

"So… you're not fighting? Ask Misaka as Misaka doubtful."

"No"/"Of course not!"

Then just as they appeared, the tears soon leaved her face, replaced by a huge smile.

"Great, remember you're only allowed to fight in the bedroom, says Misaka as Misaka conspires to get a little brother."

Then the girl cheerfully marched to the park, leaving the couple behind who could only try to guest what the hell did just happened.

"Meh! Whatever… Let's go!"

Accelerator just pushed the thought to the back of his head and began to push the still surprised Vento towards the park.

"Hey wait a…"

"Come on, Last Order is going to get lost if you don't move that huge ass of yours."

"I already said I'm not…"

'_Stare!'_

"Ok! Let's just get on with it! But keep in mind that there's no way I'm enjoying this!"

"That's exactly the same thing you said when I licked that _other_ hole of yours this morning and look how that turned out!"

As he yelled that every single person nearby turned around to look at them, causing Vento to blush as red as she could be.

"Ok, ok… just shut up and let's go… or I'll tell everyone what happened when I tried to do that exact same thing!

Now it was Accelerator turn to blush.

"The hell you're going to do that! Now move out!"

"Fine! Watch me suffer all you want you freaking psycho!"

**A couple of hours later:**

"Let's get some cotton candy!"

"Yeah, says Misaka as Misaka agrees with her mother."

Accelerator took a step backwards to distance himself from the two little girls that were pestering him.

"Ok let's go get it."

They got some cotton candy from a nearby vendor and then as he watched his wife enjoying herself on it he just had to make a comment.

"You're sure suffering all right?"

She reluctantly stopped her eating, her face still full of the stuff.

"Shut up! It's just that they don't have one of those horrible torture devices on this place… As long as I don't see one I'll be fine!"

Suddenly Vento was interrupted by a little girl who was tugging her skirt.

"Excuse me; can I get your autograph?"

"Eh... Sure!"

She took the book and the pen the girl was giving her and signed it.

"Man, it sure is nice seeing some believers that know who I am on this place."

Then the kid read the book and made a disappointment face.

"Vento of the Front? I thought you were Maleficent you stupid hag!"

Then the girl ripped of the page and was about to throw it at Vento before she passed out.

"'_Tsk! _'Take my Divine Punishment you little heathen punk!"

She casually turned around and kept eating her cotton candy as if nothing happened.

"So where should we go now? Says Misaka as Misaka stuff herself on cotton candy."

Accelerator made a little sigh before checking the map.

"We've gone to every attraction except one… it should be right around this corner."

As they turned around, Vento's cotton candy fell to the floor.

…

She opened her eyes as wide as they could to gaze at the horrible death machine that stood in front of her; so terrible even the fearsome member of God's right seat could do nothing but shiver in fear and try her best not to pee herself; suddenly she felt a hand gently posing on her shoulder so she slowly turned around only to find that bastard she now called her husband.

"Let's go…"

She was so terrified she couldn't even protest as he gently pushed her towards her living nightmare.

"Wait… WE'RE NOT GOING INTO THAT!"

She stopped and tried to hide behind accelerator's back, hugging him with all of her strength so he would protect her.

"What the…? Why not?"

"How can I let you ride that horrible torture and death machine… with all that infernal music, the hellish spinning that's work of the devil himself and those beasts that belong to the riders of apocalypse that come from the netherworld to bring pain, ruin and misery to this world."

"Wait a minute… is that…? You mean your brother died in a merry-go-round? How is that even…?"

"Argh! Don't say its name out loud you idiot!"

She hugged him even tighter.

"'_Sigh!' _Let's go, it's time to get over your traumas."

"But I… _sniff…_ I don't want to… go, I'll lose… _sob… _you… or…"

Now just watching his wife so pitiful made Accelerator cringe on the inside, it was just like yesterday when they were about to fight and he felt that overwhelming need to protect her instead.

"Everything it's going to be fine… didn't I tell you yesterday, I'm the strongest on this city so I'll be fine and I'm not letting anything happen to the brat."

She let go of him and he immediately turned around only to find her looking so scared and vulnerable that something inside of him snapped, he hated seeing her like this, he'd much rather have the loud, nymphomaniac, bratty bitch than this emotional wreck.

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Of course I am, so why don't you trust me for once; I only want the best for you, think about it I would've gotten your Divine Punishment if I didn't."

She reluctantly nodded and followed him, this only made him know how vulnerable she really was right now, the usual her would've mock him for saying something so corny and then snap and insult him… The worst part was that he found himself missing that.

He helped her get into one of the horses and then made sure that Last Order was secure in another one before getting into his… it was unbelievable, the Accelerator, the strongest esper on the city was riding a freaking merry-go-around with his family.

"God my reputation is… Huh?"

But his humiliation became the least of his worries when he felt a couple of arms hugging him with all of their strength from behind.

"Don't leave me alone… idiot!"

And before he could react he felt someone sitting in front of him.

"Yeah, the entire family rides together; says Misaka as Misaka is pumped."

And just before he could tell them to get the fuck away from him, an employee of the park came closer to them.

"Excuse me sir, this ride has a limit of one passenger for…"

"Fuck off…"

"But sir…"

"I said: **FUCK OFF!**"

The incredible murderous aura that Accelerator gave was enough for the guy to piss his pants and say a weak: "Yes sir, sorry I bothered you…" Before running away as fast as he could… a few seconds later the ride began moving.

"Argh!"

Vento hugged him even tighter, nearly getting all the air out of his lungs and pressing her face tightly against his back as she trembled like mad.

"Yey, this is the best ride ever! Says Misaka as Misaka is enjoying herself."

As the ride progressed; Accelerator felt how the hug from his wife got weaker and her trembling slowly disappeared, albeit not completely.

…

He heard her whisper something he couldn't decipher into his ears before the ride slowed down until it stopped completely; they got out of the thing, Last Order eagerly wanting to ride again which he permitted so he could talk to his wife who had remained silent on their way out.

"Hey…"

Suddenly as if she hadn't heard him, she stretched herself and made a little moan before turning towards him.

"That wasn't anywhere near as bad as I remember it…"

She gave him something that resembled a smile.

"Corny bastard!"

"Ha! I knew you'd bring that up… you ok bitch?"

"'_Tsk!'_ Of course! Do you believe that stupid thing could scare a member of God's right seat asshole?"

"You weren't scared? Then why were you acting all scared and cute back then? Trying to get into my pants bitch?"

She just gave a light chuckle before walking past him to go to the place Last Order would come out.

"As if I needed to do anything to get into your pants… they practically come off by themselves."

Then she stopped and whispered something into his ear.

"Thank you… I owe you one and I fully intent to return the favor tonight."

For some reason Accelerator couldn't help but to smile anxiously.

**Later that night:**

'_Ding dong!'_

Kamijou Touma reluctantly opened the door to his apartment, it was like way too late and if he hadn't been awake thanks to being sleeping on the bathtub (courtesy of his nun roommate) he would easily ignore this and go on sleeping.

"Who is…?"

But there was nobody at the door.

"That's weird; I could've sworn I… _'sniff!'_"

He noticed a weird smell coming from below him, so he immediately lowered his head to follow it, only to find a paper bag that was burst in flames; as any sane person would do, his immediate reaction was to step on it to put down the fire.

"Great, that should…"

But obviously, there was a little 'present' of dog shit on the bag that was now smeared all over his shoes.

"Such misfortune!"

And even more unfortunate was that while he trying to take off his shoe to clean it off, he was unable to see a giant, creamy object hitting him on the head so fast he was pushed back and fell into his apartment.

"Touma, what are you…?"

Adding to his misfortune was that his roommate had woken up by the commotion and noticed him lying on the floor.

"What's this?"

She carefully passed her finger around Touma's face.

"Touma… your face is covered with delicious Lemon Pie!"

He finally wiped the cream off his eyes and could do nothing as he watched the nun preparing to eat the cream off his face… something that would actually be pretty good except it seemed she was planning to use her teeth.

"SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

Meanwhile from a nearby building a couple watched the scene in laughter.

"See I told you I was going to repay the favor."

Accelerator laughed like mad as he saw the nun eating (quite literally) his rival out.

"Got to admit bitch, this is not what I had in mind… but it's great!"

As she heard that, Vento got in front of his husband with a sly grin.

"Huh? Can I ask just what did you have in mind…?"

He didn't answer him but rather sneaked his arm around his waist and pushed her closer to him, and then he moved that same arm and grabbed her butt.

"Ara… so who's the sex maniac now…?"

She got out of his grab and moved towards the exit.

"Ok, I admit I want it too… but just once, remember tomorrow is Sunday and we have to go to church."

He didn't even complain about the last part… the reward was well worth it.


	3. Church on Sunday

Announcer: "Welcome back to Vatican Idol, with your favorite host Fiamma of the Right!"

_Audience cheers!_

Fiamma: "Hello and welcome back to Vatican Idol, where your prayers shall be answered."

_Audience cheers!_

Fiamma: "First, let me introduce you to the ones who shall impart divine judgment upon you; our great trio of holy judges!"

_Audience cheers!_

Fiamma: "First, everyone's favorite British gentleman: Acqua of the back."

Acqua: "A pleasure being here as usual."

_Fan-girls squealing!_

"Second: The Vatican's one and only Terra of the Left."

_Audience Booooos!_

Terra: "It seems I have several candidates for my experiments tonight."

_Audience cheers nervously!_

Terra: "Or maybe not, I shall decide about that later."

Fiamma: "And finally, replacing Vento of the Front who left us to marry a heathen."

_Audience Booooos!_

"Fiamma: Our guest judge for tonight... Steven Tyler!"

_Audience cheers!_

Steven: "Well thanks a lot Fiamma, I really love being here with you guys..."

"NO WAY!"

She woke up screaming at the top of lungs, sweating bullets and her hearth beating like crazy.

"What's wrong bitch?"

She turned around, still shaken by her horrible dream and threw herself at the arms of her husband who had no choice but to catch her and try to calm her.

"Its ok bitch, it was just a dream."

As her breathing slowly returned to normal, she separated from him and looked at directly at his eyes.

"Hey asshole... Tell me, would you replace me for Steven Tyler?"

He of course looked at her like she was crazy.

"Of course not! Where did you get that moronic idea? I mean don't get me wrong, I don't want to replace you, but if I did it wouldn't be for Steven Tyler of all people, I mean yes the dude kind of used to look like a lady, but there simply no way in hell!"

And so with his words, she finally calmed down.

"I see, sorry I asked you something so weird all of the sudden."

She then took some distance so she could look at the clock on her bed table.

"We should get ready to go to Church."

"The hell are you talking about, is too early to..."

But she silenced his mouth with hers.

"I know that idiot... Look I hate to do this kind of thing before going to the house of the lord... But I'm still shaken by that dream and I kind of just need you right now; we'll get dressed after we're done..."

After that, she went down on him; something that made him smirk like a kid who just got a double serving of his favorite cake.

"As you wish bitch."

**Church on Sunday.**

Despite what appearances might tell you, Accelerator was a calm and understanding person... as long as you stayed out of his way and did nothing to piss him off that is; so when he found he had been drugged into marriage with a woman he hadn't met before, the strongest esper in the world didn't get **that **angry, actually at some point he might have felt slightly sorry for his new wife and also completely willing to just get a divorce (or an annulment or whatever) and forget about the whole thing... sure in the end it turned out she actually enjoyed being pleasured by him and since she was skilled with her mouth like you wouldn't believe he decided that maybe it was not a bad idea to tie the knot.

Now while he understood that the idea of a marriage based completely on physical interaction was not a good idea at all, he actually found himself liking the bitch, maybe it was how they both enjoyed solving their problems with extreme violence, or the way they liked to humiliate anyone that got in their way, perhaps it was their shared hobby of torturing a certain spiky haired hero; but the truth of the matter was that he enjoyed her company and actually wanted to stay with her and protect her... not that it was needed since she could instantly dish Divine Punishment to anyone who ever felt ill will towards her... but it was the thought that counts and at the very least it meant that even though he didn't like to admit it, he actually enjoyed the little family he had going on with her, Last Order, and the two hags, and wanted to keep things like they were.

Which was why he accepted going to church with her; you see his wife was actually a pretty humble person about most things, she didn't liked jewelry (Well exception being some piercings she wanted to get on her face but he managed to convince her otherwise), or sweets or any of those stereotypical things you might think girls her age would like, she even used cheap make up and wore the same clothes every day with no spares or anything else but extra underwear... not even pajamas or any kind of sleepwear since she insisted on sleeping the way she was born into this world (Something he was extremely thankful for).

The only thing she was actually serious about was religion, but unfortunately it compensated for all the others since she was so devoted she would do things like praying an entire rosary before going to sleep or reading the entire bible at least once per week among other things, heck he was sure she would outright leave him (or worse, upload photos of his baptism and wedding into the internet) if he refused going to church with her, so it's not like he had much of a choice and plus going to church wasn't that bad, all he had to do was wasting an hour or two hearing some priest babbling about God and then go home.

Still when she told him they'd go to church he imagined that maybe she meant the Orsola Aquinas church right outside of the city... or maybe the Saint Mary's Cathedral in Tokyo... But what he didn't expect was that she would force him to sneak into Academy City's airport, steal a prototype airplane and kidnap a pilot, just so they could fly nearly 10.000km in a couple of hours to go to church on the Saint Peter's Basilica in Vatican City... Yes right now Accelerator was stuck on the square in front of the biggest and busiest church IN THE WORLD waiting to attend mass with other 25.000 people!

"This sucks!"

"Shh! Says Misaka as Misaka awaits the words of the Holy Father."

He turned around to notice his daughter was on her knees, praying like a little angel.

"I didn't know you were a Roman Catholic."

"I am now thanks to mommy; don't you remember we were baptized on the same ceremony? Says Misaka as Misaka preaches the teachings of the son of God to her SISTERS."

"Great, now she's brainwashing you too, God that women fanaticism is annoying..."

The worst part was that after dragging them here, she still had the nerve to just leave them as soon as they arrived and say she would attend mass comfortably from within the church; just remembering how the bitch told him this while they were still on the plane made him burn with anger.

"_Listen, I'm going to meet the other members of God's Right Seat when we arrive."_

"_So...?"_

"_So you're going to have to wait for me at the square with Last Order, I'll meet you guys when the mass is over."_

"_Wait a minute bitch! After all this you're not going to fucking aban..."_

"_I expect you to understand my position and behave during the proceedings like a good husband, or else..."_

"_Or else...?"_

Then she uncharacteristically crossed her legs tight, locking his much beloved treasure that was between them completely out of his reach.

"_These might remain closed for a long time."_

"Stupid bitch! As if she could endure abstinence any longer than I could! She's so going to pay for this when I..."

…

Accelerator stopped and looked around, noticing surprised he was still conscious.

"I guess that means completely one sided, angry sexual fantasies are not considered ill will... I wonder if that means the real thing is allowed too."

He gave the idea some thought and then chuckled, creeping out everyone around him but his own daughter.

"At least I have something to look forwards after this pointless waste of time is over."

Then the pope himself appeared on the balcony and so the mass began.

**Around two hours later.**

Long after the mass ended, an embarrassed Vento appeared near her husband and daughter.

"Sorry I'm late."

But Accelerator would have none of it.

"So not only do you leave us alone in the middle of a foreign city when we don't even speak the local language, but you have the nerve to be late?"

"I'm sorry."

"At least apologize like you mean it!"

Vento worriedly stared at the floor, fearing that she might have caused damage that could not be undone.

"I'm sorry Accelerator-sama, please forgive me!"

She bowed almost getting her head into the floor.

"Ha! You think everything is going to be alright just with an apology bitch?"

"But... Please I beg of you, I'll do anything to get your forgiveness."

"Anything?"

"Yes anything you ask... forever if I have to."

"Well then let's start with something simple, I want you to get on your knees and bark like the bitch you're."

"But..."

"No buts! And from now on I want you to call me master, also you're not allowed to shoot down any of my suggestion for anything whenever we're in bed, yours are still accepted and encouraged though but I decide if we go through with them or not, Also... Fuck you! I don't care it's only a tiny patch of hair on top of the damn thing, you're shaving down there and its final!"

"Yes... my master."

"Great, now... Didn't I tell you to bark bitch? Get on with it!"

Vento blushed and slowly began to kneel before she...

"WAKE UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!"

Huh? Accelerator slowly opened his eyes, quickly finding his extremely pissed off wife standing in front of him.

"What's up bitch?"

"What's up? You fell asleep in the middle of mass you idiot! I thought I told you to behave!"

"And since when can you give me orders you little nympho?"

"Since I married your worthless ass..."

"Mommy! Daddy! Don't fight on this holy place! You should feel ashamed of yourselves! Says Misaka as Misaka scolds her parents."

Both parents stopped their bickering and turned towards their daughter with a slight hint of guilt and shame; since neither of them had a normal childhood they had decided to try give one to her, so this kind of situations made them feel like this.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"It's OK, but promise me you won't fight while we're in the Vatican, says Misaka imposing herself as Misaka doesn't want her little brother being conceived in this holy city... It's no place for that you see, says Misaka as Misaka hopes he's on his way already."

Then the little girl sat back on the floor and began praying, much to the surprise of his parents.

"Wait a minute... Don't tell me the reason you've been praying so much is because..."

But Accelerator stopped his question when he noticed Vento blushing while she caressed her womb and whispered a weak "Not yet, it's too soon..." as if she was in some kind of trance; something that both calmed and terrified him at the same time.

"I'll worry about that later... Anyway bitch what do we do now? Are we going home already?"

Vento snapped out of her daze and quickly shook her head.

"No, I had trouble finding him, so I still need to talk to my boss about this new situation and see what we are going to do about it."

"Your boss? You mean the pope?"

She laughed.

"Of course not! If anything I am his boss; didn't I told you I got the geezer eating from the palm of my hand?"

"Really? Poor man, he's just like me but at least I get to eat from somewhere else that's much better."

And now she blushed for a second before getting mad.

"Shut up or that will be the only thing you're getting from me for a long time."

"Then I guess I'm gonna have to bite."

"Just try it and I'll..."

"Stop it! Says Misaka as Misaka getting tired of this."

They stopped as if it was reflex and continued their conversation as it was before the argument.

"So yeah, I'm meeting the true leader of the Roman Catholic Church... Fiamma of the Right."

"Huh? Fiamma of the Right? What kind of lame name is that?"

"Oh yeah I haven't explain it to you have I? All the members of God's Right Seat use our elements followed by our positions as our names; that's why I'm called Vento of the Front."

"Really? I always thought that was a reference to you preferring the frontdoor when we do it; I mean I noticed you like it better than when I go in through the back one."

"Quite unlike the guy who seems to have taken a liking to my tongue playing with his backdoor don't you think? Now shut the fuck up and follow me!"

She didn't even wait for an answer and just walked away, taking Last Order with her; meanwhile Accelerator just shrugged her comments off without much thought.

"So what? As long as you don't shove it in there's nothing wrong with that bitch."

Then he licked his lips creepily and followed after his daughter and wife.

**Inside the Saint Peter's Basilica.**

Accelerator followed Vento inside the most important Church in the world, and it was in the moment he realized she wasn't kidding when she said she was pretty important around here; literally everyone treated her as if she owned the place, some of them with respect, most of them with fear, and he could see everyone was keeping her at a distance so it seemed like she didn't had one single friend around... all in all it appeared this place was kind of like Academy City used to be for him before the accident.

"Well here we are."

But she didn't seem to care about that and just ignored everyone, hastily looking for the guy that was supposed to be his boss.

"Welcome back Vento."

Suddenly a huge man dressed clad in blue appeared, he was the first person that talked to his wife casually and judging by her reaction it seemed that was OK with her.

"I'm back Acqua."

They shared a quick greeting, only for the man to shift his attention towards him and Last Order.

"This must be your new boyfriend and his daughter you were talking about the other day."

"I did? Yeah I guess so... but he's not my boyfriend anymore (not that I can remember him ever being that in the first place) we're married now, the adorable little girl is Last Order and the useless bum is my husband."

The man however was unsurprised by that news.

"I see... Well I suppose it's no surprise, you were really enthusiastic about him before... Nice to meet you, I'm William Orwell although most people around here call me Acqua of the Back."

He made a polite bow and then turned back towards Vento.

"Congratulations on your marriage."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, by the way have you talked to him about this news?"

For a second Accelerator could notice his wife sweat dropping.

"Not yet... That's why I'm here actually."

"I see, he should be on his office right now, I suggest you go see him right away."

"Sure."

After that the man excused himself and left, although before he did, Accelerator could notice a stare directed at him, one that said "Don't you dare to make her cry.", but he just shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"As if I couldn't just crush that guy... Not that I'm planning on making her cry or anything, quite the opposite really but..."

"Hey asshole, why are you standing there like the idiot you are? Come with us or will leave you behind!"

He snapped out of his daze only to notice his wife and daughter were farther away into the Church, he reluctantly followed them, cursing all the way through until they arrived at the most expensive looking door he had ever seen.

"Well here we are..."

"So this is your boss' office?"

"Yep, I'm going to talk to him for a while, please wait for me here."

She pointed at some chairs that were right beside the door, he just nodded at her and took seat together with Last Order.

"Just be quick ok, I want to go home already."

She nodded back and then knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Vento of the Front."

Suddenly the door opened and a red haired man with a calm yet somehow terrifying smile appeared from inside.

"I've been waiting for you."

The red haired man took a look around until his eyes fixated on Accelerator.

"He must be your husband right...?"

"Yes...You knew?"

Vento looked at him surprised at his knowledge; the man however just gave a light chuckle to himself.

"Of course, I had your marriage registration, your adoption forms and his baptism papers on my desk since yesterday, I was checking them just now... let us discuss this inside shall we?"

He let her in and promptly closed the door behind him.

"Asshole!"

For some reason that red haired guy rubbed Accelerator the wrong way, there was simply something on his _'holier than thou' _attitude that he just hated.

**Inside Fiamma of the Right's office.**

Both members of God Right Seat took seat in their respective places; there was a brief silence as Fiamma simply read the papers on his desk completely ignoring the woman in front of him, a clear signal that it was Vento the one who had to start the conversation; something that made her feel uncomfortable and therefore act as if she was being scolded.

"So... I'm married now."

"So it would seem..."

He placed the piece of paper he had on his hands back on the desk, and stared at her awaiting an explanation; yet despite being completely calm, Vento couldn't help but to feel there was a storm behind him ready to be unleashed.

"I must admit I'm curious, the last thing I heard about you was that you were going to Academy City to destroy the Imagine Breaker, the Index and the city itself, yet it seems that not only did you fail on your mission, but you somehow managed to get entangled with the science side."

"I am what?" Somehow the idea that she was now linked to the science side hadn't crossed her head.

"Yes you are, it seems your husband is one really important piece for them, and such I received several 'conditions' from them to allow your union."

"Really...? But that's..."

"Don't worry about that though, you being who you are I managed to impose them several 'conditions' of our own; but that's not important right now, what I want to hear is your version of this... you're not the kind of person to forfeit a mission and go looking for a husband, so I'm curious about what happened. "

"Well, I... I infiltrated Academy City as planned, then I took out a few of their Anti-Skill police force, and also a few members of their board of directors; then I called that bastard Aleister over the phone and then I decided to take a break and went to get a drink because I was thirsty and..."

This was it, if she told him what really happened he could get her an annulment of her marriage as easy as snapping his fingers; now two days ago she would actually wanted that... But now she was full of doubts and unsure about what she should do, and it wasn't because of the fuzzy memories of that blank month she couldn't remember, nor because of the pleasures they shared together... But it was something else, that weird feeling she had whenever she was with him, the whole reason she ran to him when she was at her most vulnerable, the one thing that made her feel at peace with herself, that allowed her to feel like she was part of a family for the first time since her brother died, and that maybe... just maybe it wasn't wrong for her to leave the past behind and move on. It was with these things in mind she had to take a decision about her future.

"I meet him near the coke machine and somehow we just clicked, so one thing led to the other and after a month or so of dating we decided to stop fooling around and tie the knot."

Fiamma stared at her eyes for a little while before simply sighing.

"I see, if that's the case then I see no reason to not approve of your union... you have my and of course the entire Roman Catholic Church blessings on your marriage."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you!"

"However in that case I must inform you of the 'conditions' I agreed with the science side to let this happen:"

But she couldn't even relax before finding herself completely tense again.

"First: They're not letting him live outside city and such you're the one who'll have to move there; in order to let that happen you will be granted the citizenship of Academy City and such you'll be bound by their rules while you're there."

"That doesn't seem so bad, I've been living there for a while and it's not a bad place."

"Second: You're allowed to use magic to defend yourself but you're required to lie about its origin and explain it's an esper ability if need arises; also you mustn't let people affected by your Divine Punishment remain unconscious for any amount of time that would endanger their lives under any circumstances."

"I could live with that... I guess that means I should let that girl from the amusement park yesterday wake up though."

"Third: Despite the previous, you're still under protection of the Roman Catholic Church so you're expected to continue your services as a member of God's Right Seat, and such you're granted several privileges: you're allowed to leave and enter the city anytime you want without the need of special permissions of any kind; also you're not obligated to cooperate with the City's authorities any more than it's required by law and in case of a mayor offense, you shall be handed to the Vatican authorities (That is to say: me) who will be the ones to pass judgment upon you and decide your punishment."

"That actually sounds pretty good."

"Fourth: You do not pay taxes, nor are you required to work or do any kind of activity besides your duties towards us (You're allowed to do so in you spare time if you want to though); also you and your entire family have unlimited healthcare coverage on any hospital affiliated with the city; this of course includes any kind of treatment."

"That's wonderful! I got diplomatic immunity, no taxes and unlimited healthcare... wait a minute, does that include a dental plan?"

"Of course! You also get all your expenses covered for six months when the time comes and you need to take a maternity leave."

"No way! You... Fiamma of the right, are the most wonderful, greatest person alive."

"I know, I'm aware of that... anyway there were other things that we discussed, but I rather just mention the ones that affect you directly since otherwise we would be here all day."

This was the best, she feared that Fiamma would be furious about her marriage but it seemed it all turned out for the best... plus "dental plan", it doesn't get much better than that.

"So I guess this means you won't need to replace me?"

Fiamma just chuckled a little.

"Of course not my dear Vento, there's no need to replace you... you're just as expendable as everyone else, admittedly you fooling around with an esper ruined my plans to use you as the spark to ignite World War III, but I can capitalize on that to place myself on a better position so there's no damage."

Then he burst out in evil laughter.

"I see, that's grea... Wait... WHAT?"

Suddenly, Fiamma face spelled quite clearly "I screwed up" for an instant, and then in a split second, before Vento could react a huge bird like third arm appeared from behind his back and... Waved itself in front of her.

"You didn't hear what I just said."

And just as if he was some sort of futuristic mystical knight, Vento suddenly entered a trance.

"I did not hear what you just said."

"You have no reason to distrust me."

"I have no reason to distrust you."

Then he breathed a sigh of relief, before the thought of taking advantage of his position invaded his head.

"Also... and just for the sake of curiosity... Do your husband's curtains match his drapes? Because ever since I saw him just now I've been wondering..."

"There are no drapes, he's naturally silky smooth down there and I love it like that."

She began to drool.

"It's wonderful, I can work my 'magic' on him without worrying about getting hair stuck in my..."

"OK! OK! That's enough... Too much information actually."

Suddenly Vento snapped out of her trance.

"Yes...! Ah? Where were we?"

"We were discussing about your replacement and I told you not to worry about that, I'll take care of everything."

"Oh I see..." Vento was still confused but she decided not to pay attention to it, after all _she had no reasons to distrust__ him; _so she just cleaned up the drool that she had on her face for some reason and moved on with their conversation.

**Meanwhile outside the office:**

Right now, the strongest esper on the face of the earth was bored out of his mind.

"Geez just how long is that woman planning to stay in there."

"Don't know, says Misaka as Misaka honestly doesn't know; by the way, can I go explore the Church? Says Misaka as Misaka proposes an activity to cure her boredom."

He didn't even look at her to give his answer.

"Nope, we need to stay here so the bitch can find us when she comes out, and I'm just not letting a little girl wander alone in the middle of the Vatican."

That remark caused her daughter to pout angrily at him.

"Just so you know Misaka can take care of herself, says Misaka as Misaka..."

But before she could turn this into a pointless debate, he simply placed her finger on top of her lips.

"I don't care, you're staying here and it's final."

She pouted some more, but soon realized that would get her nowhere and reluctantly sat beside him with a frown.

"I understand, says Misaka as Misaka acts like a good girl."

"That's a new one..."

"Excuse me?"

Suddenly a weird old man dressed clad in green appeared in front of them, and just one look at him told Accelerator it was people like this the exact reason he didn't want Last Order wandering around this place.

"What is it?"

"I was informed by Acqua that you are Vento's husband, am I correct?"

Great, another idiot with a _'holier than thou'_ attitude, and this one was even worse than the first.

"So what if I am?"

The weird man chuckled at him and the strongest esper found himself fighting with the urges to just kill this idiot.

"Nothing, it´s just that I Terra of the Left have a question for you, a question that springs from my own curiosity to know everything there is to know about this world."

"Just ask me whatever and go the fuck away will you?"

"And so I will, no need to be violent young man."

The old man chuckled to himself again and slowly got close to whisper on his ear.

"Does Vento also wear piercings on her nipples or in her clit...?"

And that was the last time anyone ever saw or heard anything about Terra of the Left; usually he could've put up a fight, but he was completely taken by surprise as Accelerator kindly placed him into orbit, just like he did to anyone that got weird ideas about his wife; needless to say this meant that confirmation about his dead was completely unnecessary.

"And by the way… no she doesn't!"

"Who are you talking to? Idiot!"

Huh? He turned around to find his wife staring at him.

"No one in particular bitch, shall we go now?"

"Sure!"

As the entire family was leaving the church, a sinful thought crept into Accelerator's mind and he just couldn't resist the temptation of whispering it to her wife.

"Hey bitch... Want to do it inside a confessional?"

This proposition made her wife stop dead on her tracks and blush like mad; however she managed to calm herself and whisper back.

"The fuck are you talking about idiot?"

"So you don't want to?"

"Or course not! There's no way I could do that in a holy place like that!"

Then she discretely got even closer to him and whispered directly into his ear.

"Which is why I ordered a pretty convincing replica delivered into my house."

She licked his ear and separated from him, the blush on her face still present, then talked aloud towards her family.

"So I don't know about you guys but I'm kind of tired, do you wish to stop at my place to get a quick shut eye before flying back to Academy City."

"Sure mommy says Misaka as Misaka feels pretty tired."

"I would be delighted bitch."

**A couple of hours later in Vento's apartment in the Vatican.**

"That was the best honey!"

"See didn't I told you?"

"No really, you were awesome! I would do anything to get something like that again!"

Vento licked her lips.

"Anything you say? Because you surely can't mean 'anything'."

"Try me!"

"Ok... For starters I want you tell me I'm cute."

"You're the cutest girl in the entire world Vento-chan."

"Now tell me you can't live without me and... also... that you actually love that I have a little hair down there."

"Actually... Just a little hairy is my secret fetish, and of course I can't live without you."

"Wonderful, now... I want you to lick my feet... and then slowly make your way upwards through my legs and tights and then through... you know... and when you satisfy me with that, I might consider your request."

He didn't answer but rather just began to kneel in front of her and...

"Wake up bitch!"

Vento slowly opened her eyes, quickly finding his annoyed husband cuddling with her.

"What do you want? I was having a wonderful dream!"

"I don't care! I need to go to the bathroom damn it!"

She noticed they were still inside the (not a) confessional and that she was sleeping on top of him.

"Ok, I'll get up."

She did as she said and then patiently fixed her clothes as she waited for his husband to finish with his business.

…

_'Relief' _Ok, that's done, shall we go home now?

Vento nodded at his husband's request.

"Sure, just let me get Last Order and we'll be on our way."

"Great, by the way..."

For some reason Accelerator turned around, so he would not have to face her when he said his next words.

"How much do you think it would cost us to ship this thing back with us to Academy City?"

He hit the side of the (not a) confessional with his hand.

"I mean..."

"It arrives on Tuesday."

He turned around surprised only to find his wife looking around the room with a huge blush all over her face; noticing her almost cute attitude he could only chuckle to himself.

"Wonderful! You've really getting ahead of me lately you little nympho."

And now her cute blush was accompanied by an strangely fitting angry face.

"Stupid! It's not like I'm doing this to please you...! We just share the same fetish... that's all!"

He chuckled to himself again.

"No complaints from me if that's the case."

And then her cute face came back with an even stronger blush.

"Also... I think... Look, if it really bothers you that much, I think I can shave myself down..."

"Nah, leave it like that; I already got used to it, and it's only a little bit so as long as you keep it clean and nicely trimmed like you always do I'm fine with it."

She breathed a sigh of relief and got back to normal.

"Ok, but don't come to me whining about that later on!"

"I won't; either way I don't really want to keep talking about that part of yours right now; but if you want we can have a _deep discussion_ about it when we get back to the plane's bathroom... so lead the way bitch!"

She nodded and quickly got out of the room as he was following her, Accelerator suddenly felt his phone ringing and upon checking it a new message had arrived.

"_Reunion tomorrow morning at 9:00am, Hideout 32 Don't be late... GROUP."_


	4. GROUP Therapy

**GROUP Therapy**

Accelerator quietly tried to stand up; still tired from his one day trip to the Vatican, he struggled with his grogginess to get out of bed and go to that stupid meeting that someone texted him yesterday; usually he would ignore such things, but the possibility of learning something about _the blank month_ was too tempting for him to pass up.

He had slept with his clothes on (A task that was far more difficult than he thought at first since Vento kept trying to pull them off), so all he had to do now was to get out of his wife embrace and out of the room without waking her up.

"I just push her arm like this and… perfect, free at last hghkghmk!"

But as he was sneaking out of his sheets, he suddenly felt something sliding down his mouth and into his throat, chocking him almost immediately.

"Kyaaaghghghghghg!"

As he struggled to remove the foreign object stuck in his trachea, one of his sudden movements made him feel something being yanked from within his mouth and also something else being pulled towards him.

"Hghkghkghk _cough! gasp! Hgkghk cough! Spit!_"

After chocking for nearly a full minute he finally managed to spit the foreign object and then immediately searched for the culprit of this mess.

"You bitch! I told you not to leave that stupid cross inside my mouth! That thing nearly chokes me to death you know!"

But he stopped his whining when he noticed his wife looked hurt, with a couple of small tears around her eyes and little stream of blood coming from within her mouth and more importantly… she wasn't whining back.

"Hey, you ok?"

He rushed to her side and then gently held her.

"You hut my tong."

"Let me see."

She obeyed him and opened her mouth.

"It's nothing; just a little cut, it should heal itself quickly."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Vut it huts!"

"Of course it does! You tongue is really sensitive… See that's why I told you to take off your cross before we go to sleep, it's the second time that thing nearly chokes someone to death in four days."

His wife pouted.

"Wat? No vay!"

"Listen, I know it makes you feel safe but I think you can afford to take it off just to sleep, I'll protect you in it's instead."

Vento blushed and twiddled with her fingers.

"I'ld tink avout it…"

_Sigh!_ "Look the bleeding stopped, see I told you it was nothing serious so now go back to sleep."

"Okay…"

He carefully placed Vento back into the bed, watched her until she fell asleep again and stood up, quietly making his way towards the door.

"Great, thank god she didn't…"

"So where are you going?"

But all his hard work went to waste when he felt a couple of arms sneaking around his neck in a gesture that was dangerously in the middle between a hug and a chokehold.

"I´m just going to the bathroom bitch."

"With your clothes on? So now you dress up to take a leak?"

"None of your business bitch, or could it be…? You wanna come? I'll let you hold it for me while I piss and you can shake it off when I finish."

"Nah I'll pass; I'm not into that kind of stuff."

"Funny I tough you'd be more disgusted at the idea. "

"Why? It's not my thing but it's nothing special either, just a silly little game."

"Really? I thought you guys at the Vatican were really uptight about that."

Vento cleared her throat and talked using her exposition tone.

"Not at all, most of the limitations regarding that topic within our doctrine are for unmarried couples; for married couple like us there are only a few rules about what contraception methods we're allowed to use and some other things like that and that's it."

Suddenly his wife hugged him tighter and pressed her face against his back, whispering sexily into his ear.

"Actually married couples are encouraged to bring as many children as they responsibly can into this world; how they do it isn't anyone business."

However he just sighed at her display.

"Why do I get the feeling that's not how it goes? I´m pretty sure that…"

"Does it really matter? I'm telling you that I'm… I mean we're the only ones that can decide how we do it, and that's all you need to know."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever… By the way what happened with your tongue?"

Vento took advantage of her position and licked the nape of his neck.

"I'm fine, a little bit of healing magic when you weren't looking and voila, as good as new."

"Ha! Don't try to act tough! You were crying like a little girl just now."

"That's because you hurt me you stupid brute! You have to treat me more gently."

She tightened her _'embrace'_ for a second.

"Not my fault you left your crap inside my mouth!"

"Of course I did! Since you slept with your clothes on I had a feeling you were going to sneak out on me, so I set up this little trick… How was I supposed to know you were going to try to rip my tongue off?"

"So you did it on purpose then? Serves you right bitch!"

"Yeah I did it on purpose! So what? That doesn't mean you can hurt me you bastard!"

"It was an accident bitch! How was I supposed to know you were stupid enough to do that? Plus since when is it any of your business where I go after I wake up?"

"Since I'm your wife you asshole! I know I don't want you fooling around with other girls behind my back!"

He smirked.

"So you're jealous?"

And she just smirked back.

"Stupid! I only get 15 minutes of heaven a day and I don't want any whore you might have lying around stealing what's mine! Being jealous has nothing to do with it."

"So… Does that mean that if I don't use my powers I can do what I want?"

But now her smirk had turned into a frown.

"Of course not!"

And then she hugged him tighter; nearly chocking him but without any ill intent behind her actions.

"Whether you have your powers or not it doesn't matter, I need… I mean I want you regardless of anything… stupid! Didn't I tell you the day we agreed to this marriage? You're mine asshole **MINE!**"

Accelerator slowly moved his hand towards his chocker and turned it on.

"As you wish bitch, but remember you're mine too."

"_Tsk!_ You think I'm an idiot of what? I know what you're trying to do and… "

But she couldn't end her sentence as Accelerator shut her lips with his.

**About an hour later.**

"Well… Dammit!"

Vento woke up alone in her room, her body ached all over and even hurt in some places, and somehow she wasn't even sure she could feel anything below her bellybutton.

"That idiot…! _Sigh! _"

She lay on her bed for a moment while slowly recovering the sentience of her lower body; little by little she could feel strength going back into her legs until she eventually managed to stand up and clumsily moved towards to closet to try and get dressed; her hands shook like crazy as she tried to button her habit and her legs trembled so much she could barely keep herself standing.

"What's this? I can't even … _sigh!_"

She somehow managed to put on her clothes and dragged herself out of the room into the kitchen.

"Good morning."

"Good morning Yomikawa, Yoshikawa."

She took a seat and then fell on the table.

"What's wrong Windy-chan? You look like crap _giggle!_"

She sighed as she tried to grab a cup of coffee Yomikawa had placed besides her.

"That idiot went all out on me… Tactless jerk!"

Yoshikawa giggled a little and helped Vento to pick up her coffee.

"Yes of course we know that… as in we could hear you through the sound proof walls we know that; what we want to know is why he did that?"

Vento couldn't even blush as she swallowed all of her coffee in one sip and then fell back on the table.

"He wanted to sneak out on me and I tried to stop him…"

Both middle age ladies giggled in unison.

"So you're worried he might be cheating on you?"

Those words struck a nerve on her "Of course I am! He's my husband you know!" but after her outburst, tiredness got the best of her again as she sulked into the table and mumbled "I'm the only one allowed to be with him."

As the ladies giggled again Vento couldn't help but wonder.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing… "

Suddenly both ladies got closer to Vento with a somehow inquisitive stare.

"By the way Windy-chan… Do you mind if we ask you something?"

Vento was taken aback by their attitude, but she had no reason to deny their request.

"What is it?"

They got their faces closer to Vento and giggled

"Well you see, we were listening to you guys earlier and Kikyou was wondering…"

"Oneesama! You say that but you were interested as well!"

Yomikawa coughed and cleared her throat as a slight blush appeared on her face.

"That doesn't matter! Listen, what we wanted to ask is… is…"

"Is he really that good?"

…

Vento was frozen in place and had absolutely no idea what to do.

"I mean, he doesn't look like he's packing anything spectacular down there, but…"

"But we could hear you through the sound proof wall… There's just no way you're faking it."

Embarrassed, flustered and both physically and mentally exhausted, Vento's unconsciously let it all out.

"Well you know… About his size, well… I don't know much about that… kind of stuff, I… I've only been with him you know… but I think its fine, maybe not spectacular or anything but… enough for me."

Vento swallowed as both ladies pressed for more information.

"But if it's not size then…"

"Size is not that important you know, because…"

They giggled at Vento's inexperience but didn't interrupt her.

"Because you see… when we do it normally I can just do what I want, so I just lead him to where I want him to be and take complete control over him... his technique is pretty good so I just enjoy myself and I think he likes it better that way, but…"

Suddenly Vento's speech slowly transformed from an embarrassed mumbling into something different, her breathing became irregular and loud, her cheeks were turning into a deep crimson red, her eyes seemed lost in the distance and from her mouth tiny droplets of drool were threatening to shed into the table.

"But when he's using his powers I… I mean he… I don't really understand how he does it, he told me he can control the bio-electricity on my body or something like that, I don't know… but the thing is that every time he touches me I can feel the pleasure augmented tenfold, and he knows where all my sensible parts are, including… including… you know, _that _spot…"

Vento breathing became even faster as she raised her head high into the air and her back was mysteriously arching backwards.

"But that's only the beginning, once I… you know for the first time, he can control that sensation however he pleases, he moves it back and forth all around my body, it just never ends and since… since he doesn't stop down there, I just climax again and again… and he can control them all, so he just keep piling them on and on, getting stronger each time until after what seems to be an eternity he finally has enough and releases all of them at once…"

Suddenly Vento let out a deep breath that almost seemed like a moan as her head fell into the table, still panting loudly.

"Usually I can keep my head straight, but when he's really into it… I just pass out almost instantly… sometimes I can still feel it lingering around my body when I wake up… it can last for hours at a time…"

And from around her mouth, a tiny pool of drool was forming.

"I like to think there's no better proof that there is a God in this world… and that he loves me…"

…

"Anyone else would've been driven mad already; but I'm different, I can resist it and keep my sanity intact… sometimes just barely… "

…

"God I feel goose bumps just thinking about it."

The middle aged ladies just stood there silently.

"Yeah… _'Goose bumps'…_ That's exactly what that is… Well Windy-chan thanks for… sharing that with us… now we got stuff to do, right Kikyou?"

"Ye… yeah, I promised Last Order to get some ice cream together."

"And I have Anti-Skill work to do… Bye Windy chan!"

They grabbed the still sleeping Last Order and left the apartment as fast as they could.

…

"Well then… I should go look for that stupid husband of mine."

But when she tried to stand up, Vento noticed she had a little problem.

"But first a shower… and a clean pair of underwear."

**GROUP Hideout 32.**

"Welcome Accelerator, did you have trouble getting here?"

Accelerator arrived at some weird, apparently abandoned warehouse where he was received by two strange males; one had brown hair and a perpetual smile and the other one was a blond with sun glasses and an annoying grin.

"Not really, I just used the map you sent me and…"

But before he could even greet them, both individuals just ignored him and talked among themselves.

"Hey do you really think he can't remember us?"

"That's what our benefactor said."

"But come on! How can anyone forget all we went through? Like that time when we had him dressed up to infiltrate the school garden or when we had to enroll on the Academy City School of fine arts and he ended up taking ballet classes."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?"

"Don't forget what happened during the bachelor party… heck that's why we are using this hideout instead of 25, remember."

"Bachelor party? Just what the…?"

"Yeah, I think I heard they still can't get those stains to come out, not to mention the smell was just…"

"Hey! Listen to me!"

Both guys simply interrupted their conversation in the calmest of manners and turned towards him.

"Sorry; I know you must have lots of questions so let's get inside and we'll try to explain them the best than we can."

The boys guided him inside the warehouse into a room that despite the rough exterior of the building might suggest, was equipped with pretty much every single modern commodity in existence; inside a young girl with twin ponytails and an outfit that might only be described as 'striperific' was waiting for them.

"Finally, I was beginning to think you got lost."

The girl stood up and went to Accelerator, carefully inspecting his face.

"Hey, did you really forget everything?"

"What?"

The girl sighed and looked down in disappointment.

"So you don't remember when you helped me get over my trauma and…"

"Oh! I remember! You're that bitch I sent flying during the remnant incident!"

But her sadness soon turned into anger.

"That's right! It's thanks to you I got stuck with this crap!"

"What? How is that my fault bitch?"

"Don't you remember? Thanks to you my friends got captured and I was forced to join this stupid group!"

"Not my problem you're such a weakling."

"Well I…"

Suddenly the girl stopped talking as she felt a small hand tapping her shoulder; she turned around to find some sort of weird nun dressed in a weird yellow habit.

"Excuse me, could you please let me talk to my husband for a second?"

Taken completely by surprise, the girl could only nod and step aside, letting the nun get closer to Accelerator.

"What do you want bitch?"

"What do I want? You tell me asshole, first you escape from the house this morning and when I finally find you, you're flirting with some slut dressed like a cheap stripper."

The girl was going to protest that last remark, but her common sense told her it was better to not get involved.

"Who's flirting idiot? If you didn't notice I was arguing with her."

"Yeah 'arguing'… You think I'm stupid or something? Of course I know what's going on, you snark at each other for a while and before you know it, bang! You're fucking right on that couch."

"Are you stupid? Of course not, what kind of pervert would do something like that?"

"Well I don't know… How about us for an example?"

"What? We don't…"

"Oh come on! Even now we're about five snarks from literally sending everybody else on this room to hell and fuck each other brainless."

Suddenly the guy with the perpetual smile whispered to his partners "Tsuchimikado, Awaki-san… I think that's our cue to get out."

**1:** "Of course not bitch, we don't do that…! Not a bad idea though."

The blond guy whispered back. "Let's scram!"

**2:** "See? So let's just kill these bastards and…"

The couple turned around… but found there was nobody else on the room.

**3:** "Great! Thanks to your whining everybody left."

**4:** "Can't blame them, even the slut you were trying to fuck didn't look that dumb."

**5:** "I wasn't… Whatever bitch, just shut the fuck up and take off your skirt already."

As he was coming on to her, Vento only whispered. "Exactly five." Before letting herself enjoy the ride.

Meanwhile, outside the building, the members of GROUP were discussing about their new musical background.

"Man I can't believe they're so noisy, that place it's supposed to have the ultimate technology in noise canceling and we can still hear them."

"Newlywed couples are like that."

Etzali looked around and noticed there was somebody missing.

"So where's Awaki-san?"

Tsuchimikado looked around as well.

"Don't know… but now that I think about it, I think I didn't see her when we were leaving the room…"

"Then where is she?"

Just as Etzali finished his question, the girl they were looking for appeared by their side.

"Hey there you are…"

But before they could say anything to her, the girl's face suddenly turned green, as she covered her mouth with her hands and ran behind the building as quickly as she could, then she proceeded to return the contents of her breakfast to a nearby dumpster.

"You ok?"

The boys got closer to the girl, worried about her condition, she however remained crouched against the wall, panting heavily and looking seriously disturbed.

"No, I feel sick."

"But I thought you got over you trauma about teleporting yourself."

"It's not that…I… I… I just stayed behind because I wanted to take a peek at those two and…"

The girl's face turned even greener and before long she found herself throwing out whatever was left on her stomach.

"I don't want to talk about it…"

**About an hour later.**

"So you want me to get rid of some skill-outs?"

"Yeah, we found several stashes of weaponry that suggest they might be planning an uprising."

Accelerator took a moment to think about this situation, honestly he didn't want to get involved with these losers, but he also had to think about protecting the place Last Order and his bitch called a home.

"Okay, I'll…"

"We refuse."

But unfortunately his wife had other ideas.

"What the hell bitch? Why…?"

"Because you're useless right now; I drained your batteries this morning remember."

"So what? There's no rush, I'll just wait for them to recharge and…"

"And let you waste those precious fifteen minutes on some riff raff? You know it only happens once a day and I absolutely refuse to give them up."

Accelerator noticed he was on a tight spot, on one hand protecting the city his family called home was important, on the other hand those 15 fifteen minutes were the only thing he had that could make the bitch shut up for a while.

"Well…"

But luckily for him the guy with the eternal smile butted in to save his butt.

"About that, we developed a new battery technology that would allow you to function for an extra 15 minutes every day, it's supposed to be part of the reward for this mission."

"See bitch? There's no problem, I'll trash the scum in 15 minutes and you'll still get…"

But Vento had other ideas.

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"I said I'll do it, I'll take care of this."

She smiled and Accelerator could notice she had a little bit of droll on her mouth.

"I'd be glad to help you guys."

And knowing what she had on her head, he knew there was no way to make her change her mind.

"Perfect! Then we can count with you two."

The blonde guy butted nodded satisfied and grinned.

"Hey wait a minute, the bitch is not a part of this and…"

And the guy with the creepy smile seemed as happy as his partner.

"But this is perfect Accelerator-san, originally the plan was to have Awaki-san supporting you, but that's not possible anymore."

"Yeah, poor girl saw something horribly disturbing and then just couldn't stop puking; we had to let her go home."

"So now Vento-san can fill that role and…"

"Nope, I'm doing this by myself."

But once again, Vento had other plans.

"But…"

"No buts, I don't need any complicated plans to kill some vermin, just get me the stuff I need and I'll get rid of the pests in 20 minutes."

**About two hours later, near the Skill-Out hideout.**

"Well here we are Vento-san."

Etzali and the corrupted nun got out of the car that took them to their destination.

"Man, what a dump!"

"Yes, this sector has been taken over by the Skill-Outs and it seems they took some time redecorating."

Vento sighed.

"Whatever, I don't care… Just give me the stuff I asked and let's get this pointless waste of time over with already."

Etzali gave her a huge box, she quickly opened it and took out the devices she needed.

"Great, by the way, where's my dear hubby?"

Somehow Etzali managed to not chuckle from her question, it was amazing seeing her refer to her husband with such a cute term when she usually called him 'The Asshole' when he was with her.

"He's in a friendly lab having his battery capacity expanded as we agreed."

"And how long should that take?"

"He will be done when you finish this mission."

Vento just chuckled and took off for the slums in front of her.

"Perfect! Just tell that bastard to keep himself off until I come back."

Etzali was going to answer her with an 'OK', but she was already gone into the Skill-Out territory.

…

Vento had been walking for 10 minutes inside the place; it was like a dead city with tons of seemingly abandoned buildings and hundreds of rags acting as a roof to prevent outside surveillance.

"Man, how boring! I was expecting at least one of the rats to come out and said hi before I had to squash them."

Of course she wasn't alone in that place, ever since they arrived… no even before they got out of the car, she had felt several eyes following her the entire time, checking out her every move and taking note of every action she made.

"How rude, spying on a frail lady like that, at the very least they could've tried to past their last words unto me."

Tired of being followed, Vento carefully put on the industrial noise canceling earpieces that Etzali gave her and then turned on the other device.

"I'm sorry, if these were another circumstances I might have been a little nicer… But I need my 30 minutes of heaven A.S.A.P. I'm greedy like that."

The Skill-Outs observed how the woman placed a little microphone near her mouth; this microphone was wired into the most potent megaphone Academy City had ever produced, capable of amplifying ones' voice nearly 1000 times, so loud that even on a noisy city environment it could be heard from over 2 miles away.

Vento cleared her throat in the mic.

"Testing! Testing! Can you hear me? If you can, then… You're going to die today."

Vento smirked to herself as she took one final breath before pressing the button on the mic again.

"This one's from that J.B. pussy Last Order likes so much."

What came out of the megaphone later was terror itself, a screech so horrible, so out of tune, so off key that it could only be described as if the devil himself decided to punish mankind by scratching his infernal claws on the dirtiest blackboard in hell.

Living in an orphanage since an early age, Vento had taken a liking to the Church's choir and enlisted as soon as she was allowed, this gave her an incredible capability to alter her voice, which when coupled with magical spells to protect her throat and vocal chords so she could push herself far beyond human limits managed to create a sound so evil that even Fianma of the right forbade it's chanting as he thought it would be 'inhumane' to use it against the pagan scum; add to that the lyrics one would expect from a popular teen pop idol to create the most horrible weapon humanity had ever witnessed.

_Baby! Baby! Baby Ooooh!_

_Like Baby! Baby! Baby Noooo!_

_Like Baby! Baby! Baby Ooooh!_

Windows were broken, glasses were shattered and among the Skill-Out a massacre was going down. The luckiest ones passed out as soon as she began singing; consumed by the hate they felt towards the person behind the horrible sound they received Divine Punishment according to their sins.

But those were but only a few, a good portion of the members of Skill-Out were oblivious to the source of the horror that had fallen upon them, and such were unable to feel hatred towards her. Free of all Divine Punishment, the desperate members of Skill-Out tried to save themselves how they could.

Some ruptured their ear drums with whatever object they found nearby in desperation, others uselessly tried to flee as far away as they could, trying to escape the clutches of this horrible sound and unfortunately some chose to end their lives rather than having to stand even one more second of this horrible torture.

Even the mastermind of the city, Aleister Crowley, was forced to shut down his live feed of this massacre, not only because of his inability to suppress his hate towards Vento, but also because her singing managed to cause a few cracks on his glass tube. He would later be quoted as saying: "The Horror… The horror… THE HORROR!" whenever someone asked him about this moment.

_Now I'm all gone  
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone  
I'm gone_

Vento finished her song and took off her headgear to enjoy the sweet smell of a freshly baked carnage, as the entire street… No, the entire sector was filled with the scent of blood, death and destruction.

"That wasn't that bad."

And much to her surprise she noticed her 'dear hubby' had come to get her.

"Yeah, I decided to not go all out on them… I think I'm getting soft."

She took a second to use a medicinal spray on her throat.

"Shall we go?"

Accelerator nodded at his wife and joined her on the way back.

"So did they install the new battery?"

"Of course! You can try our new 30 minutes anytime you want my dear nympho."

Vento chuckled.

"Idiot! Do you honestly believe I can handle 30 minutes of that? You nearly kill me with 15 you hopeless brute!"

"Then why were you so obsessed with me getting more minutes bitch?"

Accelerator noticed his wife blushed and looked away.

"Well I was just feeling a little guilty because I know you need those minutes for self-defense and I thought that if you had extra then… I… just didn't want to be a bother ok?"

He sighed.

"Stupid! Do you honestly believe you can bother me just by draining my batteries? Look I don't care if I got 30 minutes or 30 seconds left, whoever messes with me is dead period, so don't worry about that."

Then he sneaked his hand to fondle her ass as he turned on his chocker with the other one.

"On the other hand, with you, I'd much rather take my sweet time to enjoy myself…"

**Later that night in Yomikawa's bathroom.**

"You know bitch, when I said you could hold it while I took a leak it was supposed to be kind of a joke."

"Then why did you drag me here for?"

"Well… Because if you said you were willing and then I…"

"I didn´t say I was willing, I just said I didn't have any problems with other people doing it! I even told you I wasn't into this kind of stuff."

"But…"

"Look, forget it! I'll do it okay… Let's just get this over with already!"

"Okay, you don't have to yell… You know if you are going to act like this…"

"Oh come on give me a fucking break!" *_unzips_* * _rustle * *rustle* _"…There! Now do it already!"

"Hey bitch, watch it! It's delicate you know…"

"Do it or I'll squeeze."

"Okay, Okay, just pull the cap down a little and aim properly…" *_pulls_* "…Yeah perfect…" *_Water stream* _"…Just a little bit more…" *_Dripping* _"…We're almost there…" *_Slowly drips until it stops* "_…There done._"_

"Finally!"

"Wait don't let go of it, I need you to shake it a little."

"What! Why?"

"Just in case there's still something left."

"Okay, Man you guys are weird…"

"Just shut up and do as I tell you, shake it exactly three times." *_Shakes_* "…That's it? Do it harder bitch!" _*Shakes harder* _"…Yeah, just like that…" _*Shakes again* _"…Perfect."

"So, are we done now?"

"Sure, just carefully put it back in its place and wash your hands."

"Okay…" * _rustle * *rustle*_*_zips_* *_wash_* "…There ya go, happy?"

"Like you wouldn't believe, thanks a lot honey."

"No prob… wait a minute, what did you say?"

"I said 'thanks a lot'."

"No I mean after that, how did you call me?"

"…I called you bitch, like usual."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure you called me something else."

"Of course not! I called you bitch because you're my bitch get it…? Bitch!"

"Nope, pretty sure you called me honey."

*_Blush_* "You must be delusional…"

"Then why are you blushing for?"

"I'm not blushing bitch!"

"Come on just admit you called me honey, it's no big deal, I call you my dear hubby every now and then."

"What? Of course you don't!"

"Yes, I do!"

"No, you don't!"

"Yes, I do… Now come on, call me honey again."

"Not in a million years."

"Ah come on… I just held your junk while you were taking a piss, I deserve that at least."

"But I…"

"Come on, just say it: 'thanks a lot honey'."

"No!"

"You know, if you do it I might consider changing what just happened from a onetime occurrence into something more… common."

…

"Thanks a lot honey."

"Now that was nice… do it again."

"But that wasn't…"

"Do it again!"

…

"Thanks a lot honey."

"You're welcome my dear hubby." *_kiss_*

**Meanwhile, outside the bathroom.**

"God, why don't they make good sound-proofing on this place?"

"Oneesama, I think we should consider a vacuum type sound-proofing next, I heard its 100% effective."

"Let´s do it!"

"But it's pretty expensive and…"

"_Okay, now get out of the bathroom; it's my turn to use it now."_

"…_You know bitch… Well…"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Well… You see…"_

"_Come on! Spit it out!"_

"…_Can I watch?"_

"_No!"_

"I'll pay for it, god I'll work overtime for the rest of my life if I have to but I'll freaking pay for it."


End file.
